What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you? And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?

have you ever watched a girl..or boy..you love get stolen by a person you had an insignificant crush on? no? well.. this is what is currently happening to me.
in this post i will not use any names.. just to be safe.^^ unless you know me, you'll know who i'm taking about.
anyways, it's been over two years that i've been in love with.. let's call her blank#1. this is a kind of love, i feel, that is stronger than your average high school love. i would legitimately put myself in jail for her, if ever needed. not saying she's a criminal, but in such a scenario, i most definitely would.
blank#2.. my second crush.. was more of a, "hey, you're cute, you look like you'd be fun to date for a short amount of time.." kind of dude. yes, i liked a guy. it is quite possible for me to do so.
that out of the way, i've recently witnessed these two fall for each other. i won't go into heavy detail on how they showed such love, but when a person-me- watches the girl she has feelings for-blank#1- make out with the guy she once liked-blank#2-.. it just really kills the spirit of a generally happy chick like me. generally happy, anyways..
-sigh- i should be happy for blank#1. but the truth is, i can be happier than humanly possible for her all i want.. but that's not stopping the pain that's eating me from the inside out. that, and the awkward thump my heart produces whenever i see her with blank#2. but more than happiness, i am very scared for her. i don't believe blank#1 would do anything too illogical, but blank#2.. i'm not so sure about. i fear that, aside from other things, she will lose her dignity. -if things fail, anyways- also, i fear she will lose her perspective on being with another person. to be more clear on that, when she does not have a lover, she has a more understanded view of going out with guys, as well as being with them. but in the moment.. i wonder if she still has those same logical ideas. i believe she would, personally. however, everyone seems to change there minds about situations they've thought of before they are actually in those situations. like if a person was asked, "would you smoke pot?", he/she might say, "hells no!". but if that person was in a room of pot and pot smokers, and was offered again, something in that person might just make her/him say, "why the hell not." people are funneh like that.
the point is, i am afraid she will be hurt. i know blank#2.. but i don't know him, know him. i don't think he'd be an asshole and fuck blank#1 over, -i like how these words are anomalies compared to the rest of this post- but i don't know what kind of person he is with other women when it comes to.. do i have to say it?
i do feel, counterwise to that statement, that blank#1 knows blank#2 better than i do. so maybe.. she'll be alright.
i'll still worry. i might have a better sense of what may be going on between my two friends, but i will always be scared for her. even when i don't have to.. it just happens whether i want to, or not. sometimes i'll be sad for her, even when she seems to be happy. kind of like that, "Falling To Pieces" song. that song relates to me in so many way, it's slightly annoying.
okay.. i apologise to anyone who might be reading this. i know it's very long, but i needed to share my feelings with the rest of the world. i am going to sleep now. good night.. or morning.<3

**creds to The Script.

"about a boi."

He's everything..
She's all I want.

He makes me smile..
She makes me happy.

He sings me a song..
She's got a beautiful voice.

He holds me close..
She'd never let go.


She looks into my eyes..
He never looks away.

She kisses me softly..
He is almost tense, but that's fine.

She tells me she loves me..
He means it with all of his heart.

She is my one and only..
He is mine forever.....


..But I fear this is a person i will never meet.


so...yeah.
this is a poem i decided to write about a boi i really like at the moment. it is probably the crappiest poem ever, but i don't care. i'm expressing myself here.:)
andand..i changed the color. it might go back to green, but i don't know.

Please Push Out For Exist...

so, how's about a little recap of mah life for all you peoples of awesome:

-i went to Pennsylvania. it was amazing, thank you
-i haven't gotten mah pics up yet, so don't bug me... -not that anyone will, but-
-i started junior year, and in summary, my classes suuuck. i have some awesome teachers, tho.
-i went to see Lansdowne and Boys Like Girls last weekend. for those of you who don't know, Lansdowne is a local band, who is getting very famous by the minute. and why shouldn't they? they are muy awesome, and i give them full support! andand, i've met the members. they signed my converse!!! -stops gloating-
-mah computer died almost a week ago...so all the things i've saved on the computer might go bye-bye.. -falls over- all those pictures...

so, the point of all this is...i have no clue. i guess it's part to let you all know that there will be pictures soon, since this blog's not only for writing, but also mah awesome photographic skills. -it really isn't that awesome, either..^___^- but then again, i do have a dA... so i s'pose this blog was for the sheer hell of it. you should totally visit my site, tho. -grins obnoxiously-<3

See ya later, Massachusetts...

...and good riddance to you, too! meh...i suppose i'm only kidding when i say that. it's just very depressing here, and i really need to get far away from this dreaded so-called-home of mine. which is why i'm going to Pennsylvania...my real home. yea, i suppose it isn't very far, and it'll only be for about four days...but honestly, it's good enough for me. although, it would be a hell of a lot better if mah folks weren't traipsing along with me on my magical adventure...cuz, seriously, the original plan was for me to go alone. and, mum agreed with me in the beginning! but, once again, it's-one, two, fuck you, i do what i want!-with mum. in other words, she's changed my plans without my consent. nao, it'll have to be me, mum, and her loverly boyfriend, -sarcasm- in a car for seven hours. had i no forms of outlets, e.g. music, books, etc, etc...i'd prolly die on the way over there.

anyways, since i haven't blogged in awhile, i thought i'd blog about my upcoming plans. there's a good chance i'll be posting some pictures as well. heheh, remember those New York pictures i promised back in May...yea, it looks liek that won't be happening. instead, you'll have to look at all the wonderous pictures i will have taken in Reading/Philly/wherever i may go in the state. you may also see them on my website.

anyways...so long, and thanks for all the fish. i suppose i'll see you...whenever i feel like blogging again.<3

random chest water?!

yo!!! i came to this site thinking i'd post the OC quiz for Bridget....but then i realized that i have a bunch of other shtuff to take care of. so, in lieu of the quiz, here's mah new site for you to check out:

http://moosey-in-teh-sky.deviantart.com

yea...i liek the name, too.^^ with this site that i've wanted to join for nearly ever, ima put up picatures of whatever i've decided to take a picture of. cuz i lover photography. by the way, all these amazazing things will officially start once i get my camera working and learn how to put up picatures, but i'd love to obtain some watchers in the meantiem. so! if you have an account, and would like to follow my work, please feel free to follow! i'd appreciate any viewers! thank you!!!<3

A Mental Mind Fuck Can Be Nice...

mah besti, the one i've centered some of my blogs on -cuz i'm awethome-, you know her as Wifie, has these really cool quizzes for her characters on her blog that i wanna try out. these, however'll be for my ever amazing characters! i only have two, but why not?!


Rules:
1. You must choose only ONE of your OCs. Do it again if you wanna use another OC.
2. Your OC must answer every question as truthfully as possible.
3. Title the journal as "OCs Quiz (your OCs name)".4. When you're done, tag as many people as you want.
5. Have fun!!!


Hi! What's your real name and nickname? Gina Palmer. I generally go by Gina, but most people like to call me GiGi. I don't even look like a GiGi...

Interesting...what's your current age? I'm almost 17.

Uh huh. What's your favorite food? Chinese food. i'm kinda in love with it at the moment.

And your favorite drink? Strawberry ramuuune!!!

Your crush/lover? You'd be jealous if you saw her!

Aww! Have you two kissed yet? -in a mocking voice- We don't kiss as much, cuz Bridge thinks God'll smite us!!! Bridge: -clears throat- Gina: Just kidding!^^;;;;

Classic question! What's your favorite color? Sky blue-pink.

Who's your favorite author? H.P. Lovecraft.

Now what's your biggest fear? Roller costers...-shudders-

*stifles a giggle* I'm not laughing *bursts out laughing* Sorry. Any siblings? -glares at interviewer- I have an older sister in college....were you laughing at me about my phobia??? Cuz if you were...

Only ten questions left. Who's your hero? Captain Planet.

Ok, who's your worst enemy? My 7th grade english teacher. eww...

What would you do if your hero and your worst enemy got together? That'd be weird...

Interesting..what would you do if you met your creator? I'd probably give her a hug.

Now, what do you want to be when you grow up? Meteorologist, i'd have to say.

What's your worst nightmare? Following in my father's footsteps...

What's your lifelong dream? Hmm...now that you mention it, i really have no idea.

What would you do if your lifelong dream came true? Be happy...if i had one...

Ok, where's your favorite place to relax? Anywhere high up. In tall trees, on the roof of a big building...i like heights.

Last question! what do you spend most of your time doing? stare at my girlfriend. if i'm not doing that, i like to read!

IT'S MAH BIRTHDAY?!

hells, yeah!!! i'm 17 today! which is, btw, my favorite number.^^ be jealous peoples! for i has gifts! Wifie, check it...I GOT ALICE COOPER!!! aaaand, a Dane Cook dvd. -thank you Mum and Tim!!!- i'm watch that on teh weekend, tho. we also have George Carlin, and i really wanna see that.=D wanna see that with me sometiem, lover?!

oketay! ima watch mah dvd, and eat cake. cake is good. it's a rainbow cake, too! i think it should also be for Pride Month, as well as my b-day.

HAPPY PRIDE, FOLKS!!<3

teehee. they be bi pride moons. enjoy!